Category: parenting

What to do?

Posted on by gregbrownbooks

In my last post I said I would attempt to answer some questions:

*Why must babies stick their hands in their poo while I change their diaper/nappy?

*How many avocados can an 11 month old giant baby eat?

*Why do I miss my wife so much?

*How many hours till nap time?

*Where the heck do you go when it’s freezing outside?

I am now going to attempt to answer the last question. I have no idea how to answer the other ones 🙂

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So where do you go when it’s freezing outside and you are on a budget?

1. Library

On top of my list is the local Library.

These ancient book storage facilities have come a long way since the days of staunch old ladies shushing every sound. Kids are actually encouraged to come in and enjoy themselves and it’s totally free!

As soon as our 4 year old arrives he runs to the kids area. Our library has a kids kitchen where he loves to prepare my favorite plastic sandwich complete with plastic grapes. I eat with great delight and loud munching sounds. They don’t even seem to mind if you make a bit of noise these days at the library.

There are plenty of toys too and we can get about an hour of play time in before boredom comes a knocking. And that’s where the books come in. Our 4 yr old tolerates about 2 books per visit and I always try to fit this in as I want him to fall in love with reading as he grows up.

I have developed the skill of changing the story on the fly. Turning the storyline into something ridiculous, so obviously wrong that they just have to correct you while they laugh. It really is so much fun and all along I am fostering a fondness for books. Try it for yourself. It’s a little humiliating in public but that’s a normal part of parenting if you ask me.

The baby happily crawls around grabbing toys and throwing them at innocent bystanders. He gets a bit noisy but no one seems to mind cause he’s just so darn cute. He likes books too. He loves how they taste. Why do babies love to eat paper and cardboard? I feel like all day I’m taking a piece of paper or a chunk of a box out of his mouth.

2. Supermarket

I know this sounds ridiculous but the supermarket is actually a super entertaining spot to go and hang out.

And they have coffee! Well my local store does. Last time I took the two littles we first bought these little capsules that grow into animals in water. Starbucks donated a cup of water (and I bought some liquid sanity) and we dropped those suckers in the water and watched. Nothing happened. But we had fun imagining for a while what would come out of the capsules and then made up a story about dinosaurs taking over the store. These things are $2. Talk about cheap thrills!

Next we throw the cup, complete with lid, into the cup holder of the shopping cart and go shopping. Our little dude’s eyes were glued to the cup. Hoping to catch a glimpse of the first hatch, shaking the cup every now and then. And the baby just loves the bright lights and colors everywhere. Have you noticed that supermarkets are so bright and beautiful? Everywhere you turn some company is trying desperately to get you to buy their product, and babies just love it!

We spend about an hour and a half at the store and by the time we get home it’s that glorious time of day, nap time! I mean for the baby not for me 🙂

And the 4yr old? Three of his new friends have emerged from their shells and their are so many more to come. This entertains for about an hour.

3. Trampoline park

This one is a little more money but it is so worth it!

We could spend hours there. Just jumping around like the energizer bunny. Even the teenagers and adults(that’s me) like it. If you are having trouble getting your kids to sleep at night, spend some time here. They will crash hard.

The foam pit is so much fun to watch. The teens love it. The feeling of jumping as high as you can and falling into a cloud and then the challenge of climbing out before you suffocate. just a brilliant idea.

We have a couple in our area. Fly high is $7/hour for our 4 yr old and free for the 1 yr old. Jumpin’ is $9/hour for 2yrs and up and $5/hour for 1 yr old.

The toddler loves walking on the trampolines. He does this little pretend bounce and laughs at himself. And he does it for ages. I even get a chance to check Instagram now and then.

All three of these options are protected from any freezing weather that Colorado tries to throw at us. A foot of snow outside? Doesn’t matter. It can’t stop us from going out there and having a blast.

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IF YOU’RE BRAVE – spend the three hours it takes to get snow gear on your kids and send them out the back to build snow men, sled, run around till their faces hurt. It actually does work. Remember that kids don’t feel the cold like us adults.

*In my next post I will share some fun activities for the great indoors.

10 days for a dad

Posted on by gregbrownbooks

10 days is about my limit.

My wife works for a non-profit called VisionTrust. Right now Harmony is in the Dominican Republic visiting and caring for marginalized children. I am so proud of her. Harmony is the most amazing lady on the planet! There’s always room for one more kid in her heart.

So I am at home without her, caring for our non-marginalized children.

Day 8 and a ridiculous moment unfolds.

Last year I got my childhood wish and bought my first electric car. A kid’s police truck complete with lights and radio and when you put the pedal to the metal it speeds off at a blazing 1 mile per hour. It was for our four year old(and for me).

It is an amazing vehicle with one major flaw. the wheels are smooth plastic. As soon as it hits some grass that is longer than a caterpillar it just sits there, wheels spinning. Our frustrated little man has to get out and push it over and over.

So I found some courage today and cut up an old bike tire which I attached to the outside of the drive wheel. What a transformation. Now the ultimate kids cop car can catch the bad guys anywhere in the yard.

The temp was bearable at 40 F/4 C. So it was time for the littles and I to go out of the house and find our sanity again. The tiny policeman climbs in and races off around the corner with a huge smile while baby goes in the dolphin swing(parental supervision very necessary).

After just ONE push of the swing screaming erupts from behind the bushes.

The go anywhere truck found some mud and the mini cop climbed out and fell right on his behind. Yuck! Mud everywhere, pants and hands covered and the most terrible part, his new light up, shiny spaceman shoes(thanks Grandma) were now a terrible brown color. Such a heartbreaking sight. Screaming escalates. It is now the end of the world!

I try unsuccessfully to clean and console the muddy screaming boy while making sure baby doesn’t climb out of the swing and plummet to the ground. How many arms do you have? I have two. And that is nowhere near enough. The baby picks up on the distress and is now crying and trying to climb out of the swing.

I can’t take them inside yet because of all the mud. I can’t take the baby out of the swing because the ground is wet and cold and I don’t have enough arms to hold him and wipe off mud. What to do?

New plan. Recruit more arms. Shouts to our 13 year old are met with deafening silence. His video game headset, now just an extension of his skull, blocks out all cries for help(I even threw a stick at his open window). And there is no chance our 16 year old is awake yet, still hungover from late night room re-arranging and netflix, hulu, snapchat, instagram, youtube…

Looks like I’m on my own.

Deep Breath. Think quick. The savior? TEETHING CRACKERS! In an instant baby is content, swinging and chomping.

1000 paper towels in hand and I am ready to clean up the swamp monster as I keep a keen eye on the escape artist.

15 minutes later, victory! The shoes are back to their original shining glory. The boy is no longer screaming and the baby did not die. I am also happy to report that the clothing and skin are completely washable.

Just a day in the life of a father of four. Never dull. Sometimes peaceful. Wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Was it worth all that trouble? Absolutely. When you are taking care of little ones it always makes a difference to leave the house. Just make yourself do it. Your perspective changes and you regain some sanity that you may have lost along the way even if you experience similar pandemonium.

So get out there and enjoy those kids.

 

In my next post I will attempt to tackle some difficult questions:

*Why must babies stick their hands in their poo while I change their diaper/nappy?

*How many avocados can an 11 month old giant baby eat?

*Why do I miss my wife so much?

*How many hours till nap time?

*Where the heck do you go when it’s freezing outside?

 

— Yes this post is probably a cry for help —

 

 

There must be some kinda way outa here!

Posted on by gregbrownbooks

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One of the chapters of my book is called “Don’t stay at home”.

This has been the single most helpful concept for me as a stay at home dad.

Although our culture has adopted the phrase, stay at home mom or dad, I have discovered that this is actually a clever trick that can keep us isolated.

So… DON’T STAY AT HOME!!

“But it’s snowing outside”, I hear you cry. I am here to tell you it is still better to get out of the house and do something, anything!

Even if you just jump in the car and go for a drive. Or maybe all you can manage is to jump in the car. There you did it. You got out of the house. Baby steps.

There is something powerful about a change of scenery that beats more tv or video games every time.

This week the kids were really getting on my nerves. Don’t judge me. I’m a human.

Let me explain.

We were all massively sleep deprived zombies. After a 16 hour flight home from Hong Kong with a layover in Dallas, the jet lag had settled into the house like a desperate squatter. White knuckled, this lag was like no other.

{ Personification –  the practice of attaching human traits and characteristics with inanimate objects, phenomena and animals. }

Jet lag is hard for adults. There’s no denying it. And the struggle is often harder for kids. But for babies it’s a whole different world of pain. They just don’t understand. I think that’s why airlines let kids fly free under 2. They realized that noone would ever pay money for that kind of sick torture.

So for five days the night hours went like this:

-PM-

9:00 – baby in bed

11:00 – kids in bed

11:01 – I collapse on the floor(any floor)

-AM-

1:00 – Baby wakes up ready for the day

1:01 – I cringe, stumble out of bed running into a wall and somehow find myself in the babies room for some rocking-chair time

2:00 – baby back to sleep

2:30 – I take a nap

3:00 – kid 1 wakes up walking the halls like a mummy searching for his sarcophagus, falling back asleep after a drink and a bathroom break.

3:30 – kid 2 wakes up and follows the lead of kid 1

4:00 – baby wakes up screaming, “eat, eat, EAT!!”

4:00-4:30 – baby scoffs down one piece of chocolate cake, one ice cream, one pickle, one slice of swiss cheese, one slice of salami, one lollipop, one piece of cherry pie etc.

4:30 – baby back to sleep.

4:31 – I collapse

4:32-9:00 very blurry memories here. I’m not really sure what followed until my alarm went off at 9am saying, “wake the baby or he won’t nap!!!!”

Yep. Just like that for 5 straight days.

The sordid process may have been exacerbated by the fact that mom went into China for 8 more days instead of joining us for the trip home.

Sooo, back to me being sleep deprived and annoyed with the kids.

The big kids were bored but nothing would entertain. Baby was hungry but didn’t want to eat anything I gave him and I was falling asleep standing up.

The only answer to this conundrum was to muster all the strength I had and load everyone into the car. Snow? Can’t stop me this time. I’m on a mission. A mission to find my sanity!

Once we were in the car I realized we had no destination. Honestly I didn’t think we’d make it this far. So we just drove around until finally we ended up at the grocery store.

Grocery Store? Big mistake? No way José!

I had devised a cunning plan. Tell the kids they can choose one thing under $5 and it’s theirs if they are helpful.

It was a sight to behold. Our 13 year old incredi-girl ran up and down aisles fetching as fast as I could bark the orders. Mr 11 year old entrepreneur spent the hour searching for the perfect treasure under $5. He finally found it. Kinder egg! Nothing on earth like one of those beauties.

And bub? Well he was amused just watching the older ones scamper around the store.

By the time we got back home, baby was asleep for his nap, our entrepreneur was satisfied with his treat+toy and incredi-teen was quite pleased with how helpful she had been and the affirmation shower from dad.

What a shift from 2 hours ago. I’m telling you it just works. Maybe not every time, but you’ve gotta give it a try. I even had a new sense of hope, that the sky was no longer falling.

So don’t succumb to the house trap of “stay at home”. Take the plunge, you’ll be glad you did.

Now I must crash land on my pillow so I can live to fight another day.

Oh btw, mom is home now! yaaaahooooo!

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Here’s to all the single moms and dads out there. I salute you.

Writing my very first book

Posted on by gregbrownbooks

Chapters so far

  1. CHALLENGING OLD THINKING
  2. IDENTITY
  3. LET THE LITTLE ONES COME
  4. DON’T TAKE GOD’S PLACE
  5. SEEK HIS FACE
  6. THE POWER OF HUMILITY
  7. DON’T STAY AT HOME!
  8. EVERYDAY HELPFUL TIPS

 

   “For many, culture dictates behavior.”

Through my research, pouring over article after article, one thing is becoming very clear to me.  When it comes to the woman’s role, the man’s role, family culture and raising kids so many people tend to follow the pattern laid out by their world around them i.e. upbringing, education, media. Wether they are healthy or unhealthy role models, many make choices based solely on what they have seen and experienced.

too often Christians, who believe that the bible contains God’s words to live by, don’t delve deep enough into these pages, or in many cases don’t look at all, to allow their own worldview to be shaped by God’s instruction. Instead, worldview becomes the author of their very own holy bible.

My goal is that my journey laid out in this first book, _Unnamed thus far_, will be helpful for stay at home moms and dads everywhere.

As well as this being a helpful tool, I will also endeavor to lay out clearly, truths in the bible that have been stretched, warped or lost completely by ever changing culture.

My hope is that just as slavery is an appalling thought to our generation, some of these myths and misinterpretations of gender roles mentioned in the bible will exist only in the past for our kids and grandkids.

and so it begins…